When it comes to teaching children about money and finances many parents focus on earning and saving money. What is often overlooked is the importance of teaching them about giving and service. It’s not that surprising, in that, by the time many of us pay our bills, loans, and mortgage there is not that much left to give. Think about what that teaches your children. Your child is likely to learn, from observation, that after all his needs and wants are met then he may consider giving some of his wealth to a cause or charity.
Is that a message you want to teach your children about money and priorities? Not likely. You see, many of us have been taught about financial management from a scarcity mindset. Statements like “We can’t afford it” or “No matter how hard I try, there’s never enough money” or others like it were often heard from our parents. Our parents learned from their parents and so on. The thing is much of this mindset comes from the effects of the 1930’s depression. Those beliefs are no longer valid even with the struggles our current economy is facing.
Laying the Groundwork for Financial Independence
The act of tithing and service are important components of wealth-building as stated in spiritual texts as well as by personal development experts. Teaching your children the importance of giving lays the groundwork for a successful, financially independent adult. It is based on gratitude, to be thankful for the wealth they have received and to give unconditionally. It helps to get them into the “flow” of wealth.
The key to teaching children about giving is to get them actively involved in the process. Showing your child that you just wrote a check to a charity is not going to have a lasting impact. Taking your animal-loving child to the pet store to buy food and toys and delivering it to a shelter shows them the results of their actions. If money is a little tight then look for ways to volunteer their (and your) time to a cause. You can’t get them more involved than that. Be creative.
When your child sees the results of her actions and the good it creates, she will feel greater self-esteem and pride in herself. He will begin to realize that wealth and abundance come from having a solid “inner game” and not from what he can “get” from life. Studies show that children who learn the art of giving achieve higher grades, and develop better problem-solving skills, greater social skills, and a stronger connection with others.
So, as you talk with your children about money and finances, lead with giving. Teaching them the importance of giving, modeling how to give unconditionally, and allowing them to observe the results will help you to raise caring, confident, and financially savvy adults.
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January 25th, 2010 at 3:44 am
Chip,
I couldn’t agree more. Here’s an example of one of the traditions that we started when my sons were growing up: every Christmas- for the past 15 years, we adopt a family (which I arrange through the local Family Learning Center) and help make their Christmas special with gifts and food. Since I was a single mom myself for many years, we always request a single mother with young children. Even when we ourselves had very little, we always found a way to help another family with even less have a happier Christmas. Our lives are more comfortable now and this continues to be one of the very special activities that we look forward to every year. Also, it is very gratifying to watch my sons find new ways to give back as they build their own independent lives and communities. And I know that they will pass on the gift of giving to their own families someday.
Thanks for helping to make the world a better place by being such a responsible, compassionate, committed and LOVING father.
buff´s last blog ..The Mother In Me
January 26th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Wonderful Post Chip!
It reminds me of a program that Dawn and I used back when our girls were younger. I believe the program was called Bernie’s Bucks http://www.amazon.com/Bernie-Bucks-Financial-Management-Kids/dp/B000IMOY52
It was pretty cool to where we had the girls balance their accounts, issued them checks for direct deposit and etc… This was in lieu of giving them cash like in an allowance. Basically it teaches your children how things work in the real world vs. what most people do.
Great post that brought back some wonderful memories. Thanks for sharing!
Dave and Dawn
Dave and Dawn Cook´s last blog ..Knowledge – The “NEW” Money
January 28th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Buff –
It is so great to hear from you! I hope that you are recovering well and soon to be back in full swing.
I love your tradition! I think when we were out on Coronado I may have told you about the physical business that my wife and I run. When we opened, we decided that out of the gate we would make an extra meal for every 10 we sold and work with local groups to get those meals in the hands of families and other small groups here in Charlotte that need them. As part of this program, just this week we had 5 kids (and some social workers) from a local youth shelter come in to assemble meals that they could take back and serve to the others in the house. The pride these youth took in what they were doing was so cool to see.
As often as possible, my 2 boys participate in these events, and also in helping me deliver meals to some of the other groups we work with. There is no substitute for them seeing firsthand the difference that even a small effort can make in someone else’s life. Really, depriving kids of this experience is robbing them of the chance to gain a true understanding of how much they are worth.
Best to you and yours!!
Chip